I’m surrounded with the chaos of pre-Christmas. The balance of
the list for Santa from my two boys, ages 8 and 10, that somewhat resembles my
means and values.
This means I’m taking them to Nicaragua for three weeks
instead of having a traditional Christmas.
But, since I’m a sucker, it also means I spent last night
crawling around Target and REI in hopes that some of our travel necessities
will suffice as fairly-bizarre stocking stuffers. I mean, I know they won’t be
stoked about the bottles of hand-sanitizer, but I’m going to be glad for the tiny antiseptic bottles when we get on our first chicken bus and wolf down a hot papusa, a sort of stuffed mini-pancake,
on our first day of travel. And, doesn’t everyone want mosquito repellent and
sunscreen from Santa? At least the collapsible fishing poles will be a big hit
on Lake Nicaragua.
The biggest question
I get is …. How? How do you do it? How do you travel to developing countries
with two children without going broke and/ or losing your mind?
Now, I’m the first to say I’ve often lost my mind during our
travels. However, there are a few pearls of wisdom I’ve learned along the miles
that I’m happy to share.
1.)
Pack
Light. I know, it doesn’t sound particularly enlightening (pun intended). But, it truly
is. The three of us travel with one rolling duffle bag that we share. It’s got
bulky, beefy wheels and my youngest son, Roam, can spin it around with his thin
arms and easily hand it to someone to haul to the top of a bus. I decided years
ago that I would end up carrying all of the bags at some point anyway. And,
instead of carrying three medium-sized messes, I decided we could all easily
fold into one big behemoth. Additionally, we each have a small backpack for
personal belongings. And, although I still end up carrying everything for
everyone on a sporadic basis, the point is that by sharing a duffle – I can.
2.)
Ditch
technology. The battle starts at home. Everyone wants to bring a screen. A
game for the long flight. An e-book for reading. A phone. A computer. If we
honestly traveled with the requested amount of technology, we would need 16
extra plugs and an emergency portable power generator. Simply put – no one is
allowed to bring a screen. Myself included. We bring those old-fashioned,
heavy, paper books and leave them at hostels along the way. I read
to the boys at night under the folds of a heavy mosquito net, and we all share
our stories together. For games, I bring cards. For this trip, I’m also bringing
a few “spoons” (to play spoons) and Banana-grams. And, I’ll bring my phone, but
turn off the wi-fi and data. We’ll only use my phone for the flight down and back –
otherwise, a public computer in a hostel will work for an email or two, and I’m
happy to escape from the constant Pavlovian- fear conditioning of my phone – for
all of our sakes.
3.)
Backpackers
Love Kids. It’s true. The way to save money is to stay in backpacker’s
hostels around the world. You can stay in hammocks, tents, dorm-beds, or
private rooms. These are places with an eco-ethic and a myriad of interesting
characters trying to make their way around on the world on rice and beer for a
year. Backpacker hostels are often filled with culture, great food, curious conversation,
and appealing (but a little nontraditional) activities for kids. Like catching
the frogs from the campsite and trying to sell them to guests. Now, these
hostels don’t advertise “family-friendly,” but, I’ve found a quick email or
conversation can steer you in the right direction. In fact, these places seem
to attract people who are open to the world. And, the more open and tolerant an
individual is – it seems they accept all kinds. Black, white, gay, straight,
senior citizen and 2nd grade alike. These places have “private rooms”
with a shared bath where I can pile our circus in for a few days for a few
dollars. Because, if you are doing it well – you aren’t spending too much time
in a hotel, anyway.
4.)
Teach
them skills. I’ve got friends in Montana who walk their children to their
classroom desks even though their children are in fifth grade. Needless to say,
I’m not one of these parents. Excluding special exceptions, I believe my kids
need to have skills to navigate some tricky life-situations when mom isn’t
around. And, travel brings on those tricky situations. My boys want to know how
the man without legs is scooting around Bangkok on a skateboard when there aren’t
any handicapped ramps in the sidewalks. They want to know why the Irish man at
the backpacker hostel says that he has never met a nice American before he met
them. They want to know why a boy younger than them is selling gum in the
aisles of the bus and why he isn’t in school. And, honestly, this is why we
travel. To try to answer these questions, or at least see the question. To get
a new perspective on the world through the eyes of another. And, I also tell them about the real dangers
in the world. How to get back to me if you get lost in a crowded market. How to
learn to trust someone who seems genuine but may have ulterior motives. How to
look after each other’s back when we are moving through an unfamiliar area. How
to move in this world.
5.)
The best
activities aren’t paid for. I always have us live with a local family and
volunteer in a school for a bit while we are traveling. The boys moan about how “weird” I
am, but, long after we’ve returned home, they remember the name of the Thai boy
who swam with them through the jellyfish on the Andaman Sea. They don’t really remember
the exorbitantly expensive dinner we ate in a sterile Bangkok mall, but they do
remember bathing orphaned elephants in a jungle river. They remember the
people. And, frankly, so do I. Those connections with communities are what differentiate
lightweight tours from authentic travel.
6.)
What we
can’t live without. I give them each
an adapted money belt that hangs on a cord around their necks that has some
money, a business card from our hostel, several emergency phone numbers, and
phrases written in the local language. They aren’t allowed to leave the hostel/
tent/ homestay without it. We create a
trip journal for each adventure and we all take turns writing, drawing, and
collecting scraps inside the pages. And,
I always travel with an emergency bag of chocolate, beef jerky and tins of tuna
for when the food simply gets “too creepy.”
All right. Enough procrastination. Those stockings won’t
fill themselves.
The other night, we were eating dinner and playing “Table
Topics,” a conversational game to ask everyone at the table a single question
printed on a card. The card Zane drew said, “Would you rather receive a coveted
toy for Christmas or go on an adventure with your family?” Roam laughed. “That’s
such a stupid question, Mom,” he said. “Who would choose a toy over travel?”
I guess I’m off the hook.